Family Friday
In working with couples, I often ask them two simple questions:
#1 The Magic Wand
“If I could wave a magic wand while you’re sleeping tonight, and you woke up with a miraculously wonderful marriage, what would that look like?” In other words: what would your marriage—done really right—look like?That’s an important question that deserves your time and attention. You’re going to be with that person forever, so be with them on purpose. Rather than float “accidental-like, on the breeze,” get out a piece of paper and design an ideal marriage. Be specific with details like:
- What would you talk about?
- How would you talk with each other?
- How much money would you need?
- What would you do in your free time?
- How would your spouse support your deepest needs?
#2 The Real World
In reality, we all know magic wands don’t exist. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a really great marriage. If you answered the first question honestly, you now know what that marriage would look like. Now, just replace the magic wand with its big-boy counterpart: hard work. And that brings you to the next question:What is the first step you need to take in order to get there? Be tangible and specific. “Be an awesome couple” is not an action step. “Schedule two hours of uninterrupted time together” is something concrete you can work with.
Conclusion
This isn’t a new idea, earth-shattering, or complex. It’s just good common sense. The problem is, common sense is not all that common.In 5 years, you’re going to be 5 years older. You can spend the next 5 years reacting, being acted upon—ending up with whatever the world gives you. Or, you can live those years on purpose and choose to act/do/work your way into a great marriage. If you’re a Christian, you already believe God has the power to create the entire world. Well, don’t you think that same God also has the power to work through you and create an awesome marriage?
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