Same Marriage, New Spouse (Real Marriage)

 

NOTE: For the rest of April and May, my Family Friday blogs will be polished speaking transcripts from my Wednesday night Real Marriage series.

Introduction

• Satan doesn’t show an interest in humanity and move into the garden until after the wedding
• Families—and marriages in particular—make him nervous for two reasons:

1. Family is the most visible picture of the church

Ephesians 5:21–33 (NLT)
²¹ And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ²⁴ As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. ²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. ²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ²⁹ No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ³⁰ And we are members of his body. ³¹ As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” ³² This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ³³ So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

2. Of the 168 hrs in the week, you only spend (approx.) 5 at church and 45 at work

• That leaves over 110 (2/3) of them to be spent with your family
• Church is the air war; home is the ground war
  • The air war happens fast and accomplishes much
  • But, none of its accomplishments remain unless an effective ground war comes behind to “hold the ground”
• “Home is where life makes up its mind.” –James Dobson

God’s Intent for Marriage

Genesis 2:18–20 (NLT)
¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ¹⁹ So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. ²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

• The man is working in the garden, naming the animals, etc.
• Even there—with the perfection of the garden—God notices Adam still lacking something
  • Twice (v. 18; v. 20b) God says Adam needs a helper/complement
• Eve fills in Adam’s “gaps,” and him likewise for her
  • There are things only I can do and things only she can do. Together, we can do lots of things.
  • “I’ve got gaps, and she’s got gaps. Together, we got no gaps.” –Rocky Balboa

Genesis 2:23–24 (NLT)
²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ ” ²⁴ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

• Marriage makes two people inseparable—together for life!
  • Biblically speaking, they are one person
  • This is why Paul can say a man can’t love himself without loving his wife (Eph 5.29)
  • He is his wife, and she is him. They are one, attached.
• Until present generations, divorce was almost an unspeakable concept
  • Couples would endure a miserable life (and many did) rather than divorce
• God’s design is neither misery nor divorce; it’s selfless love//self-sacrifice

The Biblical Design

• I love her more than myself, and she respectfully trusts that I will keep her needs ahead of my own
• It’s a mystery to the outside world (Eph 5.32), and it should be!
  • This is God’s design for marriage, not the world’s.
  • But, it works.
• When it doesn’t work, it’s not b/c of a flawed system; it’s b/c of flawed people
• God’s preference for Genesis 3 would have been:
  • Adam working in the garden
  • When Eve is tempted with lies and bad doctrine, she calls her husband for help
  • Adam comes running, speaks Truth into the situation, and throws himself between his wife and the snake—killing the snake at great risk to himself
• Adam did not do that for his bride, but Jesus did! (see 1 Cor 15.21-23)

The Fall’s Effects on Marriage

The Real Version of Genesis 3

• Eve pridefully faces temptation independently and without the support of her husband
  • Consequently, she makes the wrong decision
• Adam sheepishly follows his wife into sin
  • Neglecting his responsibility to protect his bride
• They sin and immediately feel the effects
• In addition to disobeying God by eating from the tree, Adam and Eve commit two more sins:
  • They pass blame: Adam to Eve and Eve to Satan
    • Problems don’t get fixed until we own them.
  • They try to fix the problem themselves by covering over their sin with manmade garments (3.7)
• The problem wasn’t that they were naked; the Bible tells us they were naked before and had no problem with it (2.25).
  • The incorrectly labeled their sin (nakedness instead of disobedience), and then they set out trying to fix (without God’ help) the wrong problem!
  • This is why God asks them, “Who told you that you were naked?” (v.11)
• It was Satan’s deception that told Adam & Eve they were (sinfully) naked.
  • It is Satan’s deception today that tells us we are hopeless and beyond forgiveness.
• If you’re feeling despair and ready to quite your marriage, ask yourself:
  • Who told you your marriage was over?
  • Who told you that you were beyond hope or help?

New Marriage, Same Spouse

• Toward the end of Genesis 3, God reveals two beacons of hope.

God Provides Protection

Genesis 3:21 (NLT)
²¹ And the Lord God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife.

• God replaced their ridiculous attempt at covering over their sin and gave them real protection
• Their sin had consequences: they had to leave the garden.
• Outside the garden: it’s cold; animals are trying to kill them; bills pile up; we often annoy each other; Adam’s job gets harder; Eve’s labor and delivery gets painful; temptations become stronger; etc.
  • But, God is already showing grace by giving them a solution
  • He kills an animal and makes them protection (3.21).
• The rest of the Bible’s story—the rest of our story—is about our journey through life to get back into the garden.
  • It can be done, but only with God’s help, and only if we know who the real enemy is.
  • The enemy is not your spouse. It is Satan.
• Jesus will crush our opposition!

God Provides Christ

Genesis 3:14–15 (NLT)
¹⁴ Then the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live. ¹⁵ And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.”

Romans 16:20 (NLT)
²⁰ The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

• If you believe God can create the world in 6 days, you have to believe He can breathe new life into your marriage.

Revelation 21:5 (NLT)
⁵ And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!”